🍕📞 The Google Pizza Call That Went Way Too Far 😂
Trevor Jones: Is this Gordon's Pizza? 🍕
Google: No sir, it's Google Pizza now. 🧠📱
Trevor Jones: Oh, sorry. Must’ve dialled the wrong number. 😅
Google: No mistake, sir. We bought Gordon's Pizzas last month. 🏢💼
Trevor Jones: Oh... okay then. I'd like to order a pizza. 🍽️
Google: Your usual, sir? 😏
Trevor Jones: My usual?
Google: Yes! According to your caller ID, the last 12 times you ordered an XL cheese, sausage, pepperoni, mushroom & meatball pizza on thick crust. 🍕🍄🥩🧀
Trevor Jones: Yep, that’s the one!
Google: May I suggest a ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomato & olive pizza on gluten-free whole wheat thin crust? 🌿🍅🍕
Trevor Jones: What? Why?! 🤨
Google: Your cholesterol isn't great, sir. 🧬📊
Trevor Jones: How do you know that??
Google: We cross-referenced your phone with your medical records. We have your last 7 years of blood test data. 🧪🩺
Trevor Jones: I’m on medication!
Google: According to our CVS spreadsheet, you only filled 1 prescription 4 months ago. 💊🧾
Trevor Jones: I bought more elsewhere!
Google: Not showing on your credit statements. 💳
Trevor Jones: I paid in cash.
Google: You didn’t withdraw enough cash that day, according to your bank. 🏦
Trevor Jones: I have other sources! 💼
Google: Not listed on your last tax return... unless it's undeclared income. That’s illegal, sir. 🚨💻
Trevor Jones: This is insane! 😠
Google: We're only trying to help, sir. 🙃
Trevor Jones: That’s it! I’m done with Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp... I’m moving to a remote island. No tech, no spying, no phones! 🏝️📵
Google: I understand, sir. But your passport expired 6 weeks ago. 🛂😬
Trevor Jones: One last thing... can I pay for the pizza with Bitcoin? 🪙
Google: Bitcoin, sir?! We didn’t know you had Bitcoin... 👀💸